BBW GUIDE TO SANITY

BBW stands for Big Beautiful Woman. It's not my favorite term but there are no good terms. So substitute rubenesque, zaftig, fluffy or thick or whatever current word annoys you the least.

Even if you crave to someday look like a super model, you still need to get through the day. And even super models don't look like that without a whole crew of make-up artists, hairstylists, photographers, air-brushing experts and photo editors.

So here my BBW Guide to Sanity

1. Love the skin you are in. You are going to be in it a long time. Pamper it with moisturizers. Find fabrics that feel good next to your skin.

2. Learn to love your curves. Make peace with your mirror.

3. Be kind to yourself. Would you keep a friend that makes derogatory comments to you all the time? Get in the habit of being friends with your inner beauty.

4. Tune out the critics. Watch out for back handed compliments, like "You are a great dancer, for a chunky girl." Toxic remarks aren't going to help you reach your goals.

5. Look for curvy role models. Thank goodness we finally have some on TV and in the movies and in politics.

6. Get your focus off your scale and tape measure. There's a whole big world out there to explore if you can tear yourself away from fashion magazines.

7. Get fit. Work out to get fit, not to lose weight. That way you will stick with it even if you don't lose weight right away, or ever. Make sure you find a type of exercise that you love. There are many choices so keep going until you find one.

8. Figure out who planted the seed in your head that big was ugly. In my case it was my father who often made derogatory comments about women on TV by saying things like "Look at her thighs. She looks like a line backer." Once you identify the sources, ask yourself if you still want to give that person or those people that kind of power over your life and your mindset.

9. The boat is full. Realize that there are a whole lot of people in the same boat. Wouldn't it be better if we were all supportive of each other?

10. Take "EXPERT" advice with a grain of salt. The media is like a circus. Every day they want us to jump through a different hoop. They can't decide if fat is evil or carbs are evil. Almost every food on earth has been linked to cancer or some disease. We'd die of starvation if we gave up every food the media said was unhealthy before we'd ever die from eating too many Frito's.

11. Do something life affirming every day. Dance, sing, sew a new outfit that shows off your curves. Do something to say to the world that "I am here, and I am happy to be who I am."

12. Make a list of your best features. And it better have at least 5 things on it. Ten is better. If you can't think of any, ask your friends. Surprisingly, they probably won't be as critical of you as you are of yourself.

13. Realize that many men prefer rounder women. And many people don't care what size you are as long as you are a thoughtful, smart, caring person. Not everyone is size obsessed.

14. Stop hoarding clothes in sizes that don't fit you. It's not life affirming to pull out that size 8 dress you've been saving for 10 years for the day you finally weigh 130 again. Beg borrow or steal some clothes that fit you right this minute and make you look like a million bucks.

15. Low rise jeans don't look good on anyone. Wear what flatters you, not what's in fashion.