To Fat Kids Everywhere

This article is inspired by a Tyra show I just watched. It brought back painful memories of being a fat child and how they affected many decisions I made growing up. If anything, the stigma of being fat is worse than it ever was The Internet and Youtube and other media sites let strangers peer into our lives in ways that never happened before. People with more mouth than brains can hurl insults at every opportunity. Holding on to your self esteem can be next to impossible. That's why I'm here. I want to be a safe place to land when you feel like everyone is gunning for you just because you don't look like a runway model.

Some affirmations that may rescue you:

1. You are more than your body shape. It doesn't matter if you are fifty pounds overweight or 200 pounds overweight. Your soul is still amazing. Your mind can contribute to society. Your empathy, your humor and your skills are still useful to society.

2. You have the right to do any kind of physical exercise you are capable of. If you are the only fat girl in the ballet class or the only big guy on the swim team, you still have the right to be there. About the worst thing you can do as a fat person is to crawl under a rock and quit doing any sort of exercise because kids and adults are making rude cracks about you.

3. Mirrors Lie. Ever notice how you look fatter in the mirror when you are depressed? If time has taught me anything, it's taught me that we are not objective judges of how we look to ourselves, much less of how we look to others.

4. Good Food Can Taste Good. We all know how good bad food tastes, but there are lots of ways to make healthy food taste great. If your parents don't know how to make healthy foods taste amazing, then you must take it on yourself to study recipes and nutrition and spices and seasonings to make your own great tasting food. Who ever thought I'd enjoy home grown beets, edamame, or veggie drawer soup? Many International foods are healthy too. Make sure you are trying a new recipe at least once a month because you just might love vegetarian cooking from India, ceviche from Mexico, or sushi from Japan. If you have friends from other cultures, ask them to show you some healthy meals from their countries. Often obese children come from homes that regularly serve the same recipes: Fried chicken on Mondays, cheeseburgers on Tuesdays, pasta on Wednesday, and so on. If you are old enough and both your parents work, they may be more than wiling to let you cook a few times a week. That way you have more control over what is on your plate.

5. They are out to get you. Fast food restaurants and grocery stores spend billions of dollars to get you to eat greasy, cheap, fattening food. Most of these foods have chemicals added to make them more addicting. Their ad campaigns know just how to push your buttons. You have to be smarter than they are. If you walk home from school or ride your bike, pick a safe route that doesn't go right by any markets or fast food places. I literally have a fast food place on every corner in a five mile radius. I've also gained 30 pounds in the 10 years since I moved here.

6. This is war so have a strategy. If you are already fat there is no easy fix. And even if you do lose weight people just can't seem to let you forget you were once fat. So you need a strategy. You can list ten things to do if you are angry besides eat. You can list another ten things to do if you are eating because you are lonely, sad or depressed. Put the list somewhere where you can see it in ten seconds or less.Usually I can distract myself from overeating by knitting, looking at things I've collected, flipping through photo albums or practicing guitar. Anything that is fun, distracting and keeps your hands full should work.

7. Chatrooms and TV are fattening. Why? Because at least once every ten minutes someone mentions food.

8 Figure out what you really want. Eating fills time, so when we get antsy we eat. But what do we really want? If we want to write a book, we need to put away the chips and pick up a pencil. I eat when I'm procrastinating. I know I should be making a video but that is work, so I eat snacks instead. Then I still have to make the video. Only now I've eaten 2,000 more calories. If you must procrastinate, at least do it without eating. If what you really need is a nap, take one. Don't eat instead of sleeping.

9. Don't let your weight rule your world. People focus on weight entirely too much. It's only one part of your sparkling personality. Think of it like a news show.  You want to see the biggest stories filling the most of the hour, right?  Don't let your weight issues fill 50% or more of your one hour news show. It's just not that healthy to be so self absorbed. If you can't do anything else about your weight right this minute, put it aside and go do something else. Obsessing doesn't fix the problem.

10. The problem may not be you. The problem may be that we live in a society that is so hateful and intolerant of differences, and now since it's not cool to criticize someone's race, gender or sexual preference, people hate on fat people instead.  Can you imagine hating anyone with blue eyes, or anyone that rides a bike, or anyone that has tattoos.  Pretty dumb. People that are haters have their own issues.  Usually they hate themselves or can't measure up to their own standards.  Now that merchants have realized that fat people have money too, the fashion industry is shifting a bit. A lot of the hate comes from the fashion industry and trickles on down and infects everyone's mentality. As the saying goes, if you want to feel ugly read a fashion magazine. Britney puts on a few pounds and OMG you'd think she was radioactive! You have to wonder about a society that judges someone's character based on how much of her bone structure you can see under her skin. One of my favorite buttons says, "Yo Calvin, feed that girl a sandwich."

11. Curves are beautiful. As girls blossom into womanhood, we grow hips. It's not a defect. And no fair hating on certain body parts. You soul wants to be loved all over. Are you mad at your thighs? They carry you around every day.  Hate your feet? How would you walk without them? Only Cinderella had to have teeny tiny feet.

12. Reinvent yourself. If you don't like what you see, there are infinite ways to make yourself look another way. Maybe it's not the fat.  Maybe you've been wearing the wrong color or cut of clothing.  Our mom's tend to dress us in fashions they like. Chances are you are not shaped like your mom, so that's not working too well. Low-cut jeans only look good on about 2% of women. This year's trends may not be doing you any favors. Try to find websites that show fashions on people that are shaped like you are.  There are Fatshionista groups on Flickr.com that will give you outfit ideas, or post your own smiling face in your own wardrobe. Nothing is better for your self esteem than having people comment on how great you look in your photos. I love it that the group allows no weight loss talk whatsoever.

13. Excel in other areas.  If weight is always going to be a sad topic to you, don't dwell there on that island of sadness.  Apply yourself to being the smartest kid in your class, or inventing a new graphics program, or writing your own poetry book.  Pick an area you love and become an expert in it. When you win the best model rocket competition or the best documentary by a teenager award, you'll realize you made an impact on the world that had nothing to do with your wrapper (your body). There is only one you. If you can wrap your mind around the concept that right now you are doing the best you can do and you are the best and only you that there is.

If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. I'm on line nearly every day. If the issue is not too sensitive you can leave a public comment and I'll reply. If it is sensitive you can email me at iffymail@gmail.com and I'll add you to my Facebook or my Yahoo messenger or whatever.

If you have thoughts of suicide, please call a suicide hotline. If you want to leave a comment you think will help someone else, please do that too.

Because this article deals with the topic of weight, many of the ads placed here will be from companies trying to get you to sign up for things like bypass surgeries and so on. Forgive me. I do not endorse any diets or surgeries that may be listed next to my text. My only goal is to help you hold on to your self-esteem and techniques to help you improve your life.